I celebrated my 45th birthday on Monday, but it’s not going to be my most memorable. In fact, no birthday will be as memorable as my 38th. Why?

On March 6th, 2010, I was in Afghanistan. I was just getting in the shower when I heard a whistling overhead, and then a loud explosion just beyond the walls behind me. The sirens began to wail and I rushed to throw on my shorts and t-shirt, and ran in my Crocs to the nearest bunker. My heart was racing and I was somewhat concerned because all of my gear, my kevlar, and my vest, were in the chapel. So there I sat, completely exposed in a bunker at Camp Phoenix, wondering when the next shell might come in and wondering what would happen if it landed near me. After a few minutes, my chaplain assistant, Byron Rounds, poked his head in, carrying all my gear! He had exposed himself to danger to go to the chapel, get my stuff, and then went from bunker to bunker until he found mine so he could get it to me.

When I think about serving God, I think about war. The Bible has several verses that relate following Jesus to being a war, Ephesians 6:12 and 2 Timothy 2:3-4 being two of the best known. If I am following Jesus and obeying His commands, then there is going to be strife. Satan doesn’t care if we go to church, but he does care when the family of God mobilizes to do God’s will.

In a physical war, losing people or equipment are not signs that you have done things poorly. They are just signs that you are taking ground from the enemy. In the same way, strife and difficulty in pursuing God is not a sign you are doing the wrong thing…it’s a sign that you have gained the attention of the forces of darkness. From where do those attacks come? Here are some of my thoughts:

  1. The world – The obvious first place is people and institutions outside the church. This often comes in the form of persecution. I think about other countries where Christianity is forbidden. When I was in Afghanistan, it was almost a monthly occurrence that people would show up at the gates of Camp Phoenix looking for asylum. One in particular that sticks with me was a Christian man in fear for his life because he drank some water during Ramadan.
  2. The church – Whaaaaaaat? Certainly church people couldn’t be used by Satan to disrupt God’s work in a church?!? Here’s the deal: Not everyone who attends church is spiritual mature. Not everyone who attends church is a follower of Jesus. Not everyone who attends church is making decisions based on God’s commands. Many churches have a cartel or church bullies that serve to disrupt what God is trying to do within a church. Jesus described them as “wolves in sheep’s clothing.”

To be clear, I am not a war with people, but with the forces of darkness. Although I get frustrated with people sometimes, the truth is that I pray for people and go to war with Satan. And in doing that, I don’t do what makes me comfortable, or secure, or brings me peace. I listen to my Commander, do what He says, and take things as they come. It would be easy to have a very quiet time as pastor…just do whatever the loudest group of people want. But I can’t do that…I have to go to war for the souls in my community that are in the hands of the enemy.

I also have to go to war with myself. I am in a constant mode of prayer to make sure that my own desires and sin nature are not getting in the way of my decisions. When there is difficulty in the church, I am constantly seeking God to make sure that my sin is not the source of the difficulty. And I fight discouragement. Being a pastor, being on the front lines every day, is a lonely place. The first thing I think about every day is this church, and I pray for her. The last thing on my mind before I go to bed is this church, and I pray for her. It bothers me when people are unhappy. I carry the weight of the mission God has given us. I think constantly about how we can reach our community. I hurt for the people in our congregation who cannot come to church but would do anything to be here. I hurt for the members of our church who could be here but choose not to come. I get weary.

And then God encourages me. As Mikey read me his verse in math yesterday, I was encouraged:

Deuteronomy 31:6 – “So be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid and do not panic before them. For the Lord your God will personally go ahead of you. He will neither fail you nor abandon you.”

And this morning, I read this article, and I was encouraged.

Thank you, Lord. Let me pick up my weapons and wade in again!